Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2021 18:33:20 GMT
I have painstakingly asked myself this question time and time again ? Do I really belong to this discussion forum ? Like Colin I have suffered with bouts of depression and anxiety all of my life since childhood and last year I went through a very " bad patch ". I can't explain what happened to me. Nothing made me happy not even listening to ABBA's music. I stopped listening altogether and felt no aim in life. My mental state escalated from very bad to extremely bad. My family were very concerned as I wouldn't speak unless I had to and I never laughed or smiled. As my worsening condition came to a head I wanted to end my life. There was nothing to look forward to, nothing to live for. I was referred to The Crisis Team as I swallowed quite a few pills on Christmas Day of all days. Luckily I didn't suffer any ill effects because the tablets were only of very mild strength but my depression was overbearing and the anxiety had taken over completely. I didn't bother to shower properly and wore the same clothes for weeks. I didn't sleep and hadn't much of an appetite. I ended up old before my time. Emotionally my condition left me completely barren of compassion and love. Unfortunately The Crisis Team weren't of any help as you have to answer the same questions over and over again per visit ( a different nurse every time ) and waiting for any member of staff to arrive is mental anguish and torture.
In time I helped myself out of the worst of it. Gradually I started expressing interest again. Gardening, house-work, shopping, going for walks, jigsaw puzzles, reading and listening to music were all things I began to derive pleasure from. It was a long haul. I still have good days and not so good. I keep regular review appointments with my GP to monitor the state of my mental health. I am on medication but have halved the dosage as I feel better than I was.
Back to this nagging question again, do I feel a member of this forum ? Are my comments and personal views interesting or just plain stupid ? Do I feel I have made friends via ABBAchat ? The answers to all these questions, " I just don't know ". Yes, it was foolhardy of me to close my account twice. I felt isolated ( floating on my own little cloud ). Not part of the elite circle.
Alan, Tony, Richard, Colin, Alib, Joseph and a few others have been kind but we are not friends because we don't know each other personally. We communicate online via ABBAchat.
I don't want anyone to go down the same road I did. YOU HAVE TO STAY POSITIVE ! I know it is very difficult and challenging during these very unprecedented times. Will Covid ever disappear or are we stuck with it for good ? It is both worrying and frightening as we are all facing this dilemma.